The 8 year old hiding inside my son

I love my son, when it is bedtime and he comes up to me and asks me if he can have a hug and a kiss. In his world the 4 foot hole in my wall is gone,and he hasn't spent the last 2 1/2 hours throwing a fit.
That is the one thing all my reading never prepared me for, those burst of pique from the 8 year old hiding inside my son's body. He wants to be heard, he wants a soda, He wants a fruit rollup, and how come we aren't hearing him?
It was easier to just not deal with those little temper tantrums when he was small. You just walked away and let it go. Now he is 16, and 145 pounds of solid muscle, and you can't just walk away from the 8 year olds temper tantrums. You have to face them.
I guess we are fortunate, in that we have Dr Dan. He has helped us, so very, very much. He has taught us how to not argue with Alex when he is winding up. He has helped us find medication, which helps Alex to be more a part of the world out here. And today, when the 16 year old Alex wants a hug before bed, because it is the ritual, He gets one, and I know the 8 year old hiding in there is happy as a lark.

Life as we know it

My son's father has decided he is a parent. Not that he has lived with my son for the past 15 months, he quit when his wife and my son got into an arguement. He did not stand up, he made no plan, he threw my 14 year old son with Aspergers to the curb, no coat, no ride, just abandoned like an old chair.
My daughter snuck him a bus pass, and he found his way to my house. I took him in and for the last 15 months we have supported him through therapy, one huge fit of anger, a trip to the hospital, the police, and his having to learn how to adjust, and now my ex has decided he is a parent.
My ex won't call the adults and talk with them, or send an email without threatening them. He actually yelled at my son, and then my poor son, who was trying to talk to his father actually spent 20 minutes begging his dad to calm down, and then 15 yelling at me because I wasn't willing to be yelled at.
How do you become a parent without any knowledge of your own child? How do you lie to the lawyer, and god only knows who else, about how great you are at parenting when your 13 year old daughter is up at midnight?

My son needs stability and I want the best for him. I want the best for my children, and how can I supply these and still allow him to see the children? I want to keep my sanity.

Missing Post, missing days, struggling therapists

I have a great therapist for my son. His name is Dan Q. The problem I have is that Dr. Q doesn't understand the religious standings we have. I know my son is 15, I am aware he is changing and he will continue to grow, but I need you as his therapist to work within my families values. If you cannot do this I need you to let me know.
I have an appointment with him tomorrow, or rather Alex and I do. I will need to find some positive literature to help Dr Q. to understand where I am or I will have to find a new therapist, which like any change is hell.
Alex is also looking for sponsors for his wrestling. He does not do this well. He walks in a with a flat look tells the nice woman to give him money as he needs it for a sponsorship. I think she thought he was looking for a sponsorship to a local thug organization. He did not smile, make eye contact or even look up from his paper, she was quickly backing away from him.
I think I will look up a few of the company's and call them and give them a heads up while Alex is in the Physical therapists tomorrow.

Yeah I have so much to tell you and so little time. A week I promise,after all I only have paper work to get, 2 dresses to make, and a wedding dress to alter no prob....

Saying Goodnight

Saying goodnight can take hours at my house. We start at 9pm. we had a schedule, and my husbands boss changed his hours and now, its hard for us to get back into a schedule.

My oldest son just came out and wants to talk about socks and toothpaste, and why he isn't in bed, and he wanders through the house yelling about this and that and I am weary.

My youngest son has so far today threatened to beat up his brother, refused to help go get a car, argued with his mother and yelled at me for talking to him.

How do you get this far and not lose your mind? I want to have a normal quiet house where the kids don't yell shut up and scare you? I want to be able to put my children to bed, and have them go to bed. Goodnight Josh I say it for the millionth time, and I am tired of saying goodnight.
Lights out boys, and they explain why its still on, then they argue with each other, and finally the voices start to fade and they drift into a slumber.
I stop and say a quiet pray maybe I get to rest tonight. I am an insomniac because for the last 17 years of my life, I would wake when Josh woke, and sleep in those random moments of joy & silence.
Today I just want a quiet nights sleep...

In the Beginning - How did I get here???

My son Alex is 15 years old and he has aspergers, my son Josh has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder or whatever the newest name is. Funny how life works, One won't sit still and one won't move.
My pregnancies were normal, no drinking, quit smoking, ate well, and yet, I have these 2. I have 2 other children. They are girls, and one is a diva and one is off to college, and they are just pretty girls who live their lives with normal teenage angst, drama and life.

The boys are a wonder of ideas, thoughts, movements, and here we sit. This is my I need a break from the insanity of them. If you can't talk to someone, prepare to die alone..