My son's father has decided he is a parent. Not that he has lived with my son for the past 15 months, he quit when his wife and my son got into an arguement. He did not stand up, he made no plan, he threw my 14 year old son with Aspergers to the curb, no coat, no ride, just abandoned like an old chair.
My daughter snuck him a bus pass, and he found his way to my house. I took him in and for the last 15 months we have supported him through therapy, one huge fit of anger, a trip to the hospital, the police, and his having to learn how to adjust, and now my ex has decided he is a parent.
My ex won't call the adults and talk with them, or send an email without threatening them. He actually yelled at my son, and then my poor son, who was trying to talk to his father actually spent 20 minutes begging his dad to calm down, and then 15 yelling at me because I wasn't willing to be yelled at.
How do you become a parent without any knowledge of your own child? How do you lie to the lawyer, and god only knows who else, about how great you are at parenting when your 13 year old daughter is up at midnight?
My son needs stability and I want the best for him. I want the best for my children, and how can I supply these and still allow him to see the children? I want to keep my sanity.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Hurting the Child, Gaining the ??
His dad randomly decided to stop and visit. He did not consider Alex's plans or feelings, and then Alex in such a hurry to see his dad got all excited. Of course I could not say no.
Again, Alex comes home late, no meds, swollen knee (did I mention he re-dilocated it), and hopped up on violence and mad because when his dad made decisions based on self, he hurt Alex.
I really really want to know why some "adults" feel the need to hurt the children they say they love? Child Abuse runs rampant through our streets, a father embezzles everything from his childrens trusts, uses them to gain what??
Living with Alex is not easy, sometimes we have to choose and its hard to not engage in the war. But how do you gently point out to a child of 15 with the thoughts of a 10 year old, it was not about seeing him, but protecting his assests.
How it breaks my heart to see the abuse, and know you are fighting it, but having to maintain a smile for the child..
Again, Alex comes home late, no meds, swollen knee (did I mention he re-dilocated it), and hopped up on violence and mad because when his dad made decisions based on self, he hurt Alex.
I really really want to know why some "adults" feel the need to hurt the children they say they love? Child Abuse runs rampant through our streets, a father embezzles everything from his childrens trusts, uses them to gain what??
Living with Alex is not easy, sometimes we have to choose and its hard to not engage in the war. But how do you gently point out to a child of 15 with the thoughts of a 10 year old, it was not about seeing him, but protecting his assests.
How it breaks my heart to see the abuse, and know you are fighting it, but having to maintain a smile for the child..
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