The 8 year old hiding inside my son

I love my son, when it is bedtime and he comes up to me and asks me if he can have a hug and a kiss. In his world the 4 foot hole in my wall is gone,and he hasn't spent the last 2 1/2 hours throwing a fit.
That is the one thing all my reading never prepared me for, those burst of pique from the 8 year old hiding inside my son's body. He wants to be heard, he wants a soda, He wants a fruit rollup, and how come we aren't hearing him?
It was easier to just not deal with those little temper tantrums when he was small. You just walked away and let it go. Now he is 16, and 145 pounds of solid muscle, and you can't just walk away from the 8 year olds temper tantrums. You have to face them.
I guess we are fortunate, in that we have Dr Dan. He has helped us, so very, very much. He has taught us how to not argue with Alex when he is winding up. He has helped us find medication, which helps Alex to be more a part of the world out here. And today, when the 16 year old Alex wants a hug before bed, because it is the ritual, He gets one, and I know the 8 year old hiding in there is happy as a lark.

Things I have learned

One of the greatest gifts I could have given my sons is the chance to take responsibility for their own actions. I believe it is the greatest gift we can give anyone.
I failed one of my sons in this, I took his issues, and made it an issue. He is not disabled, rather he is specially abled, and I made excuses when he made mistakes, and I stood up and took the consequences. And now, I have to learn how to not do this to him.
I love all my children, and most of us as parents, want to make it better for our children than we had it ourselves. Because of this sometimes I believe we overdo in undermining our own rules. I believe consequences make the man, and now, I have to let my son, who is 18 in life, but 12 in maturity learn the hard way, what I could have taught him years ago.
Shame on me, but also shame on him...

I have learned my lesson, and now, I will work harder on letting them grow without the overbearing savior of a mom, who always wanted the best. Now I will only protect them from the world who would hurt them without thinking about it.

Alex and Joint Custody

It has come to my attention Alex has a trust fund, Imagine thousands of dollars so he can go to school, or that was the plan, but his dad chose to spend. I tried to get the courts to force the issue and it becomes a financial issue. And while all of this is going on I have to listen to the drivel my ex spews into the head of the child whose life is so literal he can't see straight. Love this life