Alex is hitting the wall. It bothers me to see how smart he is and know he can't understand when we say things like you have to study, he just gets angry. He has started to lose track of things, this year he has lost 2 calculators, to the tune of $300. So we are trying to keep him floating in the calm seas of life. But of late even medicated he is fighting the waves. Its the moment when you realize all the people in your life, who have helped you can't help you when you deal with the individuality of aspergers. There are moments when he talks to you like he is a normal grumpy teenager, and then the moments when he stands there and screams at you like he has lost his mind. Cancer patients look at the paperwork, and cry, but their fight has a visible enemy. Alex's enemy is invisible, and we can't see it or know when it is changing. That is the hardest part of the disorder/syndrome or whatever you want to call it. If you knew when he was getting on the edge of the a blow-out then you would be able to talk him down. But when he is walking through the house, and yelling at you about what ever the moment has triggered. Today it was math, how can I explain to him, I cannot change the way math works. Variables are variables, constants are constants, and I cannot change them no matter how hard I try. Looking for sanity today is hard enough. Living with a son who has no sanity, and when he's not acting like a normal teenager and ignoring you, is following you through your home screaming.