Sleeping

Funny how you stop sleeping when you have a child who has ADHD or what ever disorder it is this week. If my son doesn't take his nighttime medication, then he doesn't sleep. Now most parents would be of hes old enough let him go. But you can't do that when you have these children. Nope, cause what if at 4 am they decide they want a candy bar and there are none in the house.

Exactly, he is going to go get one, and if the police don't catch him and bring him home for a curfew violation, then you have him calling because he has realized its dark and might be dangerous getting home

I vaguely remember sleep without medication, now its been so long, if I don't take the magic white pill, I don't get to go to sleep what a joy. Think I need another boy

All funning aside, its hard and what I have learned as he has gotten older is its his responsibilty. If he fails, he must pay the piper, and that is a hard thing for us parents to do. We have spent so many years fighting for them, how do we let them go.

Lay down in your bed, close your eyes, say your prayers, and just let go

Life as we know it

My son's father has decided he is a parent. Not that he has lived with my son for the past 15 months, he quit when his wife and my son got into an arguement. He did not stand up, he made no plan, he threw my 14 year old son with Aspergers to the curb, no coat, no ride, just abandoned like an old chair.
My daughter snuck him a bus pass, and he found his way to my house. I took him in and for the last 15 months we have supported him through therapy, one huge fit of anger, a trip to the hospital, the police, and his having to learn how to adjust, and now my ex has decided he is a parent.
My ex won't call the adults and talk with them, or send an email without threatening them. He actually yelled at my son, and then my poor son, who was trying to talk to his father actually spent 20 minutes begging his dad to calm down, and then 15 yelling at me because I wasn't willing to be yelled at.
How do you become a parent without any knowledge of your own child? How do you lie to the lawyer, and god only knows who else, about how great you are at parenting when your 13 year old daughter is up at midnight?

My son needs stability and I want the best for him. I want the best for my children, and how can I supply these and still allow him to see the children? I want to keep my sanity.

Hurting the Child, Gaining the ??

His dad randomly decided to stop and visit. He did not consider Alex's plans or feelings, and then Alex in such a hurry to see his dad got all excited. Of course I could not say no.
Again, Alex comes home late, no meds, swollen knee (did I mention he re-dilocated it), and hopped up on violence and mad because when his dad made decisions based on self, he hurt Alex.
I really really want to know why some "adults" feel the need to hurt the children they say they love? Child Abuse runs rampant through our streets, a father embezzles everything from his childrens trusts, uses them to gain what??
Living with Alex is not easy, sometimes we have to choose and its hard to not engage in the war. But how do you gently point out to a child of 15 with the thoughts of a 10 year old, it was not about seeing him, but protecting his assests.
How it breaks my heart to see the abuse, and know you are fighting it, but having to maintain a smile for the child..

The wedding and sleeping like the dead

Alex is sick, very sick, he has been sleeping since his dad, dropped him off on the 25th. Late. When he asked to visit with Alex, I said ok, but he is getting well, please don't keep him up late or do alot of running around. Of course he did both.So Alex got sick again, and has been sleeping nonstop for 4 days, kinda nice, but kinda a pain.
When he is sick, he is more prone to anger and less prone to emminent reason. Gotta love the child who kicks his sister cause she accidentally spilled on him. Forgotten medications, funny how sad that is, you have to take them on time or not at all, but not at all is like Dante's 4th circle of hell.
Josh has a friend, he smokes pot, Josh swears he isn't and I really want to trust him, but tomorrow we get the drug test and check. Here's to hoping!

TO all my friends hang tough with me we will get there

Missing Post, missing days, struggling therapists

I have a great therapist for my son. His name is Dan Q. The problem I have is that Dr. Q doesn't understand the religious standings we have. I know my son is 15, I am aware he is changing and he will continue to grow, but I need you as his therapist to work within my families values. If you cannot do this I need you to let me know.
I have an appointment with him tomorrow, or rather Alex and I do. I will need to find some positive literature to help Dr Q. to understand where I am or I will have to find a new therapist, which like any change is hell.
Alex is also looking for sponsors for his wrestling. He does not do this well. He walks in a with a flat look tells the nice woman to give him money as he needs it for a sponsorship. I think she thought he was looking for a sponsorship to a local thug organization. He did not smile, make eye contact or even look up from his paper, she was quickly backing away from him.
I think I will look up a few of the company's and call them and give them a heads up while Alex is in the Physical therapists tomorrow.

Yeah I have so much to tell you and so little time. A week I promise,after all I only have paper work to get, 2 dresses to make, and a wedding dress to alter no prob....

Threats

Today could have been great. It seemed like it was going to be okay. Day 6 of a med-less child, and he is finally starting to come into the normalcy, but of course, I got my hopes up again.
Alex finished the night with a fit of ugly temper, asking me what I was going to do and I finally lost it. I mean really how much stress can a person live with?
My husband doesn't have to, he gets to go to work, he spends his nights not fighting with teenagers, not being afraid of psychotic exes, and mostly not living the insanity, and then he threatens me with divorce, because I finally have had enough. Really, you are going to threaten me, grow up, I spend all my time building bridges, and he decides to threaten to leave. I hear this all the time from someone, Josh is going to leave, then what am I gonna do? I hate to say it but I truly hope he does so he can see how good it is here. A 17 year old who threatens, ooh big fear, maybe you should worry about graduating first? Alex threatens to join the military and when you try and explain the reason he can't he threatens to move out and go to another country and show me he can be in the military. I wonder if it would cause an international incident? He talks about becoming a dictator all the time. He tells me how great he is doing and then he tells me again, again and again. Do I seem angry, I am cause sometimes you need a little extra support and I guess i need to find someplace where i can get the support i cannot get at home. 
  I love them, but sometimes, when i am tired and my head is throbbing, and my arm is on fire, I just need a little help. Today was that day... 

May I have another please Sir

Living with a teenager who is detoxing from years of meeds is like shooting yourself in the foot.
First is the blank stare, directly followed by the utter howl of pain and frustration. I am at the utter howl.
Trying a new concept, not buying in. Not working as well as hoped, course my ears can only handle an hour of ShrillShreeky (you know the noise attached to your a name when they are sent to bed. )
I want quiet insanity, well behaved children, who sit quietly. Stepford children look pretty good to me now. But who would liven my day then? I would probably. Go crazy trying to figure out why they aren't try ing to kill me